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South African Stories
    Autumn 2000
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South African Story 2

My name is Akhona Dilima. I was born on the 8th of March 1981. I came to a realization about life's most difficult problem. Coming to terms with liking me.

To me it's one of the most difficult because all throughout life I've always regretted being who I was, because of my poor background and upbringing and the fact that my father never seemed to care if I breathed or not. It caused quite a big crisis in my identity and the way I perceived myself.

I felt an overwhelming need to make him realize that I could be loved and was capable of making him proud of me. This led to me being very insecure, self-conscious and I had absolutely no
self-esteem and I became dependant on other people's views of me.

Well, I've changed since then and this is how I feel: SPECIAL

I am special and no one can take that away from me. I don't need anyone's love and approval to know that I am special. It is not the love you get, but the love you give that makes life worth living.

No matter how many wrongs you make, it takes one right to make up for all of it.

ALWAYS FORGIVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF.

Boyfriend! Who? Me?

At church, I was taught that sex before marriage was religiously illegal, so dating was definitely out of the question, because I would be tempted to do things that I shouldn't do. But then in 1998, that changed because I had my first crush and being the person I was it scared me to death because I had absolutely no idea that it was normal and part of growing up. I tried not to disappoint God and also not to break any rules, but I failed dismally.

Needless to say, I had my first boyfriend. It only lasted 8 months, but it was quite an experience.

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